That Bowtie Really Has To Go
by Robins
Summary: I said you could go anywhere you wanted. Why on earth do you want to go shopping' Before taking on all of time and space, Amy's got something else to do first - mainly finding the Doctor a new outfit.


_"You saved the world and you brought the aliens back...and now you're taking your clothes off."_

They landed in New York, 2010, around two thirty pm. It was raining and freezing cold but that didn't stop Amy from dragging the Doctor from his nice warm TARDIS onto the water streaked streets.

"Aaaaamy," he moaned as she tugged on his sleeve, "I promised you all of time and space, why on earth did you want to come here?! We could have gone to Venice, Alzarius, twenty fifth century mars! We could have even gone to Clom, Clom! I'd take Clom over...over _this _any day! It's all, wet and...wet! Where are we anyway?"

Amy sighed and stopped, turning to face the Doctor, "you said I could go anywhere I wanted, right?"

The Doctor nodded, "Yes but-"

"And I want to come here. New York, 2010 – present day."

"But _why_?" he whined, "I could take you to much better places than New York. Why do you want to come here?"

"Oh," she smirked, "it's not for me."

The Doctor frowned, looking at her curiously.

"New York. Fashion capital of the world – after London of course, but London's boring."

He folded his arms, rolling his eyes. "Why would fashion matte..."

Amy clapped her hands as the Doctors eyes began to burn with realization.

"Oh god," he remarked, mouth open and left hand paused on his cheek, "oh god. No Amy, no not at all."

"You're wearing a bowtie!"

"Bowties are cool!"

She shook her head, "Not in any lifetime Doctor, you need a new wardrobe."

"Aaaamy-"

"Five minutes."

Those two words were all Amy needed to utter to shake the Doctor out of his self pity party. Sighing, he held out his arm for her to take and began to pace forward.

"You're never going to let me forget that, are you?" he mused.

Smiling, she took his offered arm and the two started towards the nearest clothing store.

"Nope."

-

Kelly Brooks had worked in Abercrombie and Fitch for most of her life, she'd started when she was 16 (just as a summer job) and that had soon become a permanent job. At the age of 38, she thought she'd seen it all regarding customers. She'd seen overly preppy girls, goth kids, old men and perverts wandering the clothes rack before, but she had never, _never_, seen anything like them before.

They were obviously British – their accents gave it away – and they were very clearly fashion impaired. Kelly didn't like to admit it, but she was very critical of peoples fashion taste. Working in a high end New York based store would do that to you. The red head was pretty, ever so pretty, but she was wearing a nightdress. A nightdress in the middle of the day! Kelly didn't know where to start critising. The man she was with (her boyfriend?) was worse. The first thing she noticed was that he was wearing a bowtie. A bowtie. It got worse as she took in the rest of his apparel. Tight brown pants tucked into chunky brown boots, a pink pinstriped blouse held up by shockingly red braces, and that god darn bowtie. She shook her head. Some people just shouldn't be allowed to dress themselves.

Placing the polo shirt she'd been fondling on the closet rack, she pulled her own blouse down in a confident manner and strolled over to the two fashion disasters.

"Hello," she simpered, as she neared the couple, "can I help you?"

The two looked at each other, a smile playing on the girls face. The man started to shake his head, but his companion cut him off.

"Yes, yes you can. We're looking for a new look for my friend here."

Rolling his eyes, the man leant on the clothing rail heavily.

"I've already told you, I don't need new clothes. These ones are fine."

"Bowtie."

"It's cool!"

As the two bickered among themselves, Kelly closed her eyes and let out a weighted sigh. She could already feel a headache coming on.

"-So we can just leave here and go to Rome and forget this whole thing ever happe-"

"Five minutes."

This seemed to silence the pair so Kelly took her chance.

"if I may Sir," she said testily, "we have a wide collection that might catch your eye. We at Abercrombie and Fitch always try to tailor for customers whatever their personal taste may be."

"See?" the girl chastised, smiling, she held her hand out for Kelly to shake. "Amy Pond and this is the Doctor."

"Doctor Who?" Kelly questioned.

The Doctor winced, "Just the Doctor."

"Just the Doctor...?"

"Yup," Amy confirmed, "Just the Doctor. Now let's get on with finding your new look."

-

Five hours. They had been here _five _hours. In those five, long. Tedious. Hours, they had managed to completely destroy the fitting rooms and dismantle nearly every clothing rail.

"What about these?" The Doctor wondered, picking up a pair of pink polka dot sunglasses and popping them onto his head. He turned on his heel and looked in the mirror, admiring his face. "Oh yes, oh yes. You handsome devil you. I like these Amy."

Rolling her eyes, Amy pulled them off his face, "No sunglasses."

"No sunglasses, no broaches, no hats, no skinny jeans, no bowtie! God woman, live a little."

Bending down, Amy picked out a plain, green shirt and held it out to him. "what about this?"

"Ew," he pulled a face, "no way."

"Why?" she exclaimed, "it's nice and plain, no logo's or anything."

"It's green."

"Greens a nice colour," she replied.

"Nah, bit too Silurian for me."

"Silurian?"

He waved his hand in a dismissive manner, "tell you about it later. Now this, yes! This could work!"

The Doctor laughed and scooped up a small pile of clothing. Unbuttoning the red blouse Amy had made him try on; he threw it to one side and began unbuttoning the baggy blue jeans Kelly had chosen.

Oh god. No. No he was not going to...He was and he had.

"Sir!" Kelly cried outraged as she tried to block his naked form from view of the windows, "Sir could you just put you-"

"You know, I never got the appeal of this shopping lark Amy, but I'll agree with you on one thing – it is rather fun!"

Amy bent down, creased over in laughter as the Doctor stepped into a pair of brown pants, zipping them up quickly.

"Sir! Sir If you could jus-" Kelly began to shout louder, attracting the attention of other customers in the large shop.

"Yes Amy," The Doctor smiled at Amy as he buttoned up a pink blouse, "I think we'll be doing this again."

"Not in here you won't be!" Kelly screamed, causing everyone to stop and look at her, "just get out!"

Amy attempted to sober up and failed, falling back to the floor with a snort; The Doctor shrugged on a jacket and wriggled his body.

"You're throwing us out? Oooh, I've never been thrown out of a shop before, this is all rather exciting, isn't it Amy?"

"Just..." Kelly pointed towards the door, suddenly tired, "Just get out."

Pulling Amy up from the floor, the Doctor saluted the worn out shop assistant and staggered towards the door of the shop.

"Good day," he smiled back at her, "perhaps we could do this again sometime, maybe try a little bit of blue next time – I think blue would really match the colour of my ey-"

"Out!"

-

Stumbling out of the shop, Amy and the Doctor attracted their fair share of funny looks, but the two of them were too happy to care.

"Well, we didn't succeed in getting you a new outfit," Amy giggled, seeing that the Doctor had simply thrown his old wardrobe back on in the store, "But at least we got rid of that bowtie."

"Ah," the Doctor grasped Amy's hand and pulled her towards where they had parked the TARDIS, "don't be so sure about that Miss Pond. Now, about Rome..."

The two of them swaggered out into the fading sunlight, holding hands and plotting their next great adventure. Down the road, a frustrated shop assistant was given the unfortunate task of explaining why exactly a whole month's clothing supply was strewn out across the floor to her growling manager.

It was days like these Kelly Brooks wished she'd become a science teacher.

_Fin._


End file.
